I am just like all of the other new parents out there. For such a long time I couldn't understand why new parents only post/take pictures of their new little baby and none of themselves. I used to complain about this to Jared, especially since I wanted to see pictures and hear about the parents since they were the ones I knew...Well now I think I understand because I am becoming just like that. I don't care about posting or taking many pictures of myself anymore...all I want to do is capture the moments that Kaylee brings. I am just like all of the other sentimental parents out there.

On that note, something that worried me a great deal before Kaylee was born was wondering how I was going to be able to love her enough to get me through the sleepless nights, the dirty diapers, the financial obligations, the tremendous responsibility, having to learn to put her first, and not being able to go out everyday and feel like I was making a noticable difference in the world like I felt I could do with being a student and the possibilities that would lead to and the academic advising job that I had on campus. I LOVED that job and wanted to keep it forever, or do something just like it for a career. It was really hard for me to let it go....But now I think I'm ok with not working there anymore, even though it was one of the best experiences I've had for a job. I've started to recognize again that President Harold B. Lee was right on the mark when he said "the greatest work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own home."

When Kaylee was born and I saw her I loved her, but it wasn't this all encompassing love right away like I was expecting and I suppose that's because I didn't know anything about her yet. But I've found that slowly, over this last month of being with her and changing her diapers, feeding her, holding her when she cries, being up at night with her, laughing with Jared at her funny faces,and kneeling by her crib with Jared to say our night prayers, that I'm learning to love her more and more. I find myself getting excited to see her when I'm away from her or when she's taking a nap. I'm learning to find the joys!

This is for you mom!

Blowout!

The other day I was talking to my mom while I was feeding Kaylee. During the conversation Kaylee had quite the blowout. I didn't even realize it until I opened up her blanket and low and behold! So I had to quickly hang up so I could start the major cleaning job.

Well we have fun around here! Today Kaylee and I went to devotional together on campus. I really enjoy going to that every Tuesday. It seems that more and more the focus has been on Temple worship, which was the topic again today. It's funny that before Kaylee was born and it was so easy to go, we went but it didn't seem like such an urgent thing at times. Now that it's not as easy to just pick up and go with Jared like we used to I feel more of an urgency to do so. Well, I love the devotionals and talks from stake conference about the Temple. I'm sure we'll just keep hearing more and more about it as time continues on.

Here are some more pictures for fun. I can't help it. I really enjoy taking pictures of our cute little Kaylee bug, especially with Jared.

Happy Sabbath!
These are some of the comings and goings around here these days. Kaylee has a blowout at least once a day, usually in the mornings. It's something I just expect now. It's a good thing dirty diapers don't really bother us.

The sun has been out the last few days and it's been so beautiful that I couldn't bear to be stuck inside for very long so I bundle Kaylee up and we go for a walk for about an hour. She enjoys it, or at least it puts her to sleep very quickly. The other day we walked up around the Rexburg temple. I have a neighbor who has a little one year old boy. She invited me to go walking with her on Wednesday and Friday so Kaylee and I did that. We walked all over campus pushing our little strollers, talking about cooking and exchanging recipes, school, classes, home life, etc....Yep, I am definitely in a new stage of life. I am so grateful that life changes. I love the new adventures and challenges. Sometimes it's really hard to change and move on because we want to cling on to what we're comfortable with, but it is so good for us. It provides incredible opportunities to learn and improve who we are. I love every stage I've been through...with all the the ups and downs that came...So here I am learning to adapt and enjoy this new stage of motherhood.
On Friday one of my most favorite companions, Sister Abigail Cannon, came to visit me. I haven't seen many people from my mission so this was a wonderful treat. We spent many hours reminiscing about mission memories and talking about our lives now. She was a perfect companion for me at the time I served with her. I just adore her and am so thankful that Heavenly Father put me with her when He did. Serving a mission was one of the best decisions I ever made in my life!

I have taken Kaylee out in her stroller several times now. I miss taking walks so I'm going to start doing that more often. I had a dentist appointment early this morning so I tried to get her fed so she'd be a happy camper while I was away. I guess she didn't get enough to eat because Jared said that once I left she started screaming. He had to use our emergency stash of formula to keep her going. She took to that pretty well. I feel bad that I'm the only one that can feed her. I'm sure Jared must feel helpless sometimes when I'm not around and she starts feeling hungry. When she wants food she wants food! But if she's fed she's the most content little thing. So I felt bad more for Jared than for Kaylee. I tried to feed her until she was full but she keeps falling asleep on me and then waking up later wanting the rest of her meal. Oh the joys...But we love her and think she is the most beautiful little thing. I took her to her checkup. She is healthy and well and now weighs 8 lbs. 14 oz. She made a nice wet mess on the scales just after the nurse finished weighing her. When the diaper is off...well, that's just asking for trouble.
I am really grateful to still be in school, even though it takes a lot more preparation to get out of the house on time. I have to not only get myself ready but make sure that Kaylee is fed and changed before I go, so obviously getting out of the house to go anywhere now takes more time. Being in school, even though it's only two classes, gives me something to get out of the house for and things to learn and do. I love being up here at school. I really wish I could be a student forever!

Confessions

My mom and Aunt Debi gave me a bunch of candy when I was in the hospital in lots of pain, just waiting for the epidural. My mom also brought over a bunch of chocolate from England that a friend had brought over. So we have a bunch of goodies in our apartment. I decided to stash it away somewhere where it wouldn't be looking at me all the time so I wouldn't eat it too quickly. I put it in our crock pot underneath our shelves. Well last night before FHE Jared started laughing and made his confession. I guess he decided it would be really funny to open up most of the candy and take a bite out of each and then put it back and see if I would notice. I didn't, much to his dismay, I'm sure. I put it out of sight and there it stayed! What can I do to get him back?

Two Weeks Old

Our little Kaylee is two weeks old. She doesn't even look like that tiny tiny newborn anymore, or at least not to me. She is very alert and I love to sit and look at her, especially at her eyes. I also love watching the way Jared interacts with her. I think that's probably one of my favorite things. We took her to the Saturday session of stake conference last night. Church is different when you spend time listening to it out in the foyer (:->). She's worth it, the cute little thing.
So now that my mom is gone after two weeks of helping out and being someone I could talk to and laugh with about everything, I realize that now it's my responsibility to take pictures of the comings and goings around here. She was good at doing that for me.

There's at least one point during each day as I'm taking care of Kaylee that I wonder if I have what it takes to be the type of mom to her that she deserves, to be to her what my mom was and is to me, and if I can love her the way Heavenly Father loves her. It's definitely an adjustment. I've realized that my life is no longer my own. There have been many ups but also some downs as I recognize that I need a lot more help than sometimes it's easy to ask for. It's just another adventure in life, huh. A new challenge, experience, and new joys.

Well Kaylee keeps Jared and I laughing with all of her sneezes and hiccups. She makes the funniest little noises and it's been fun getting used to having another little person around the house. She sleeps a lot, wakes up, eats, and then is out again for a couple of hours. When she's awake she is very alert though. I keep myself busy at home with homework, finding new things to learn, cleaning (I love cleaning), watching the food channel, and other things here and there, and taking care of Kaylee in between everything. Then I always look forward to when Jared comes home from work. Life is great, it really is and there's very little I would change about it. Both Jared and I feel so incredibly blessed in every aspect of our lives and recognize the constant tender mercies that the Lord gives us. It seems that every day there's something here and there that He does for us and now, in this new stage of our lives that is full of adjustment the Lord continues to be the constant anchor in our lives. So we are happy and doing very well. Thanks for your love and support!